Where am I going?

For whatever reason, Sam has been singing the opening lines from Paint Your Wagon a lot lately, and it’s gotten stuck in my head. “Where am I going, I don’t know.  When will I get there, I ain’t certain, all I know is I am on my way.”  Do you ever feel like that?  Not sure where you are going or how you are going to get there?  Or even what to do once you do get there?

Sam and I had the pleasure of spending the past week down in Galveston with 20 other retired clergy couples.  There were also 7 members of the Church Pension Fund who led us through a series of talks, exercises and discussions designed to help us look at our life and our goals for living out our retirement and Christian vocation as couples.  The Credo conference that I attended in September did very similar things, but was focused only on clergy.  But this conference acknowledged that spouses are an important part of our life, planning and future.  

So in essence, this conference helped us address that burning question in Sam’s mind, “Where are we going...”. I think the disciples, after the death of Jesus had some of these same burning questions.  Where am I going?  What do I do next?  How do I get to my next assignment?  If you remember last week, after baptizing the Ethiopian eunuch, Philip was whisked away by the Holy Spirit and set down in Azotus.  But mostly the apostles had to walk where ever they went.  

In today’s lesson from the Acts of the Apostles, our focus is on Peter who is preaching to the household and friends of Cornelius, a Roman Centurion.  Peter is breaking a lot of rules just being in Cornelius’ home and preaching to these Gentiles.  Because the leaders considered this new sect to still be a part of the Jewish religion, they insisted that only Jews were acceptable in their movement.  They wanted to limit who could be included in God’s salvation.  But God had other ideas and He was beginning to spread his net over all people, not just Jews.  

So even though these are not circumcised believers, as Peter preached, the Holy Spirit fell on them all and they began to speak in tongues and extol God.  This is one of those examples where the disciples/apostles had to make an about-face and hurry to catch up with what God was doing in this place.  They not only had to accept the gentiles, but they realized that they also had to baptize them. 

When Peter got back to Jerusalem, he had to defend his decision before the counsel.  He had done at least four things that were wrong.  He stayed with Gentiles in their house.  He ate their food.  He preached to them.  And He had them baptized.  The church was not happy with Peter.

But Peter, even though he had broken the rules, knew that he had done what God wanted him to do.  And that was more important that any rule that had been imposed.  God’s will, not mine, be done.  So, what does that mean for us today?  It means when God leads the way into something new, whether we like it or not, whether we agree or not, we at least need to pay attention.  

The Gospel lesson tells us that we are to abide in God’s love – to obey the commandment is to love one another as God has loved us.  It also tells us that we are no longer servants, but friends.  That means something special - it has deepened the relationship between us and God – we are no longer slaves, but now are friends because the master has made known to us what he is doing in the world.  God is always navigating new pathways into our broken and torn world, and we sometimes have to run to keep up with what he is doing and the way he is reaching out to all people.  

His desire is that all should be saved.  In Chapter 2 of Acts, Peter preaches his first sermon and says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  Not if they are good enough.  ..  Not if they believe exactly like us...  Not if they are without sin...  But if they call on the name of Jesus, then they shall be saved.  

Our two lessons from John both speak of love and abiding in the grace of the Lord. Jesus also says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you.”  To many of us, in our humanity, question whether we are good enough to be chosen, but the truth is that we are all created in the image of God and he has chosen every single one of us.  All we have to do is answer his call to love, both God and one another.

And if we love him and choose to follow him, then we need to be prepared to go to uncomfortable places and live into the kind of love that he has for all creation.  When I started the journey with God, I told him, “If you open the door, I will step through it.”  That’s the way I’ve lived for the past 18 years.  Walking through open doors and trying not to look back when a door closes.  Following where God leads and very grateful that this last door he opened was right here at my home.

I’m not sure where I will go from here.  I have several short term plans for next month and Sam and I want to do some traveling.   Our collect says, “You have prepared for those who love you such good things as surpass our understanding...”  We plan to continuing to follow the Lord, because he has already led us into more wonderful places and relationships than we could have imagined.  I plan to continue preaching the love of God to those who will listen and to seek his will for our lives.  I also plan to continue singing a new song to the Lord whenever and wherever I can. I know that God is going to be here with you after we leave and that he will make a way for us to return someday.  

I believe that God has great plans for Grace Church, but you need to be willing to step into whatever role God has for you in follow him.  What is your plan for following the Lord?  What doors are you willing to step through for the Lord?

Love abides and grows

Today I want to focus on the second lesson - the letter from John.  This weekend feels to me like love is in the air.  Sam and I just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary and I talked briefly about love yesterday at the party.  It seems so appropriate this morning to talk about love because some form of that word appears 27 times in our second lesson this morning.  Twenty-seven times, I think maybe John is trying to tell us that love is important. 

There is a story told about John who spent most of his later life as an exile on Patmos Island.  It is said that John would be brought out to preach to the people and he would say, “God is love.”  Each time he said the same thing.  Someone asked when he was going to say something else, and he replied, “God is love.  When you learn this, then I will teach you something else.”  

In our second lesson, John begins, “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God.”  We often think of love as being a warm fuzzy kind of feeling toward other people, or an attraction to someone or something.  When Sam and I went to marriage encounter, we were taught that “love is a decision.”  It is a decision that needs to be made on a daily basis.  That funny little feeling that couples get that leads them toward marriage will not last a lifetime in the same way.  It is an attraction that can lead them toward love, but that love must mature and grow if it is to last a lifetime.   But in its early form, it is not the kind of love John is talking about here.  John uses the word, Agape, in both its verb and noun forms, throughout this reading.  

The Greeks have actually 6 words for love.  I’m only going to name 4.  There is Eros - the kind of love that is primarily sexual in nature.  It is the kind of love that keeps the species alive and can be the foundation for the bond of marriage. There is Phileo - a brotherly love or warm tender affection between people that draws them to be friends.  There is storge - the kind of love parents have for their children, it is the bond between family members.  

Then there is Agape -  Agape is defined as:   The unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone (should) strive to have for their fellow human beings. Although you may not like someone, you decide to love them just as a human being. This kind of love is all about sacrifice as well as giving and expecting nothing in return. The translation of the word agape is love in the verb – form: it is the love demonstrated by your behavior towards another person. It is a committed and chosen love.

Agape is the kind of love God has for us.  It is intentional.  It is God’s intention to treat us with love, even when we are not very lovable.  It is the glue that can hold a marriage together through rocky times.  It is the bond that can hold a family together when things go wrong. And it is the one thing that can hold a church together when people’s personalities rub each other the wrong way causing conflict.  Agape love is what we should be striving for as a congregation, because it is only through agape love that we will survive and grow strong.

Sam and I will be gone during this next week.  We are going on a “retreat” designed for retired clergy couples - yes, I know that I don’t always act retired.  We have been required to read a little book called “Strength for the Journey” in preparation for this retreat.  It is a little book that is designed to help us integrate all areas of life into a well-rounded balanced life.  It includes using prayer, ministry, study, movement and uses of technology and the arts to keep us centered in Christ.  Sometimes we think that going to church several times a month, and saying grace at the table before we eat and maybe a bedtime prayer is enough.  But God really wants more from us.  In our gospel lesson for today, Jesus says, “I am the vine, you are the branches.  Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit.”  

I think one of the most important things is being able to hear God when he speaks to us.  It takes practice and awareness to hear God.  God will lead us, guide us, direct us, nudge us for all kinds of reasons; sometimes to help us and sometimes so that we might help others.  But we have to know what his voice in our life sounds like.  

Most of you have heard by now that I have been declared ‘cancer free’.  It was the quickest journey down cancer road that I can imagine. Two months, that’s all it was.  Now I have a medication that I am being required to take for 5 years - one pill a day.  Well, I’m going to credit God with the miracle.  The miracle is not that He took away the cancer.  He didn’t.  The miracle was in the timing.  My doctor told me he wanted me to get a mammogram.  I ignored him.  The Clear Lake Breast Center called to set up an appointment time and I said no because I just didn’t want to go through that.  About a month later they called again - and this time I said yes.  I’m sure I was nudged by the Holy Spirit.  To catch this thing at stage zero was the miracle.  The actual malignant portion was 4 mm at it’s greatest dimension. 

The surgeon and his team used their God-given talent to remove the cancer and start me on the journey to healing.  I believe that God has a purpose for each of us and he gives us our talent and our love to further his purpose on earth, whether it’s healing, or encouraging, or feeding or comforting, or teaching.  And I believe that each of us is called to grow in love, and the way we do that is by being in community.  I believe that we are called to minister to all people we meet in some way and it’s so much easier to do that when we work together.  

We only have a month left together, but God has something wonderful in the works for Grace church.  I know that you are going to be blessed by God’s plan for Grace.  You’ve hear a couple of times now about the ‘Blessing Box’ that has been proposed for Grace.  I hope that the vestry will follow through with this idea and you will all embrace the concept to make it a reality to help fight hunger in Alvin and especially in our neighborhood.  I didn’t realize until recently how large our low income community was.  The Blessing Box, especially on weekends and during the summer, may be the only source of food some children will have.  We initially stock the box and the idea is, take what you need and give what you can.  Working and praying together, Grace Church can become a beacon of hope here in Alvin.  

May God bless you and keep you, feed you and encourage you, and grow you into the church that He wants you to be.   Amen.

Peace be with you!

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Every year, the same lesson is read for the Sunday after Easter. Last year, on the second Sunday in Easter, I preached on Thomas and the four things that he missed out on by not being there on that first Sunday when Jesus appeared to the disciples the upper room.  Those four things were affirmation, affirmation of the resurrection that Jesus was alive.  Second was the peace that Jesus offers.  Third was the sending out of the disciples; and the fourth was receiving the Holy Spirit.  This year, I want to focus on the peace that Jesus brings into our lives.

The gospel lesson says: “the disciples were locked away for fear of the Jews.”  And Jesus appears among them saying, “Peace be with you.”  I know that the disciples needed that message then, and I know that I need that message now.  I need the reality of His peace in my life right now.   And I know that I am not the only one.  

The Very Rev. Kate Moorehead, Dean of St. John’s Cathedral in Jacksonville, Florida, wrote a sermon focusing on “that day” -  “When it was evening on that day...  the first day of the week” - that day when everything changed.  That day may be a very different day for each of us.  It might be the day we graduated from college, or the day we married that special person, or that day when a loved one died.  It might be that day when you got that special job or opportunity, or that day when your child was born.  Or it might be that day when you were diagnosed with cancer - . . .   It was the day when everything changed...

That day was the day - when the risen Lord came into their lives offering peace; the peace that passes understanding; the peace that takes away fear and apprehension; the peace that allows you to go on.  For the disciples, this was the difference between hiding away in that upper room for fear of the Jews, and being able to go out and tell the story of the risen Lord with boldness.  It didn’t happen all at once - but over a period of 50 days, from the first day of the Resurrection until the day of Pentecost.  It was in living d growing into that peace and the power of the risen Lord that the disciples became bold witnesses to the gospel.  Now, how do we tie into that kind of power and peace?

Over the past 3 days, I have had to admit that I am very anxious - not about the cancer - I know that God will take care of it in his own way, very probably using those people who have offered up their lives to help others overcome disease and injury - the doctors and nurses, the medical personnel.  I’m not worried about the cancer.  What I find myself worried about are the procedures themselves.  To be honest, I don’t like pain or even the prospect of pain.  I don’t like to go to the dentist - although I have a great dentist - just the shot to deaden my mouth and the recovery from that, makes me wish I were somewhere else.  I suppose if the cancer was far enough along to cause me pain, I wouldn’t be so worried about the procedures.  

And God has been so very gracious - at every step of the way, but there you have it - I’m afraid.  I would beg your prayers - that our Lord Jesus sooth my anxious fears and give me the same confidence that he gave to the disciples in that upper room so many years ago.  I have been using my meditation techniques to help overcome my anxious mind and by tying into scripture such as - 

“I can do all things through God who strengthens me...”

“Lord, you do not give me anything that you and I together cannot handle...”

“Lord, give me your peace that passes understanding, and take away my anxious fears...”

You see, Satan tries to distract us from God’s love and goodness, by placing small doubts and fears in our minds.  It is in overcoming them with the promises of God that we are given the strength to move past them into the future that God has prepared for us.  It is when we are at our lowest point, that Jesus shows up - and everything changes.  “Peace be with you.  My peace I give to you.”  He soothed the anxious fears of the disciples that day in the upper room, and he can soothe our fears also.  

One of Fr. Fred’s heroes was Julian of Norwich, an anchorite who lived in the presence of God.  In one of her encounters with the risen Lord Jesus, he gave her this message: “All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”  It is a message in which we understand that God created all things, and he holds them in the palm of his hand.  We belong to him and if we allow him to, he will take care of us.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite movies, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”  Dev Patel plays the part of Sonny Kapoor, the owner of the hotel.  His favorite saying is “Everything will be alright in the end.  If it is not alright, then it is not yet the end.” -  “All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”

Our Lord Jesus comes to us at out lowest point, and tells us, “Peace be with you...  My own peace I leave with you.”  It is the peace that passes understanding, that takes away our fear.  It is when Jesus tells us, “Don’t worry.  I’ve got this!  I’ve got you!”   Amen.

__________________

 

 

Living in-between time

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Have you ever watched a little child with a helium-filled balloon?  Kids are fascinated by helium balloons.  They love to hold on to them and look up.  The safest thing, of course, is to tie the string around their wrist so that they don’t loose it.  If you go to large indoor events where balloons are sold, you will always see balloons that have escaped up among the rafters – or outdoors, you will sometimes see them drifting off in the breeze.  And I know you‘ve seen kids crying because their balloon got away – as they stand there looking up watching it go up and up and away.  

Sam tells the story about his brothers, Ted and Harry, who had built a perfectly balanced glider.  It was their pride and joy.  It was quite large and they loved to take it out in the pastures around their house and sail it on rather calm days when it could catch the air currents and stay up for a long time.  One day it caught several good updrafts and literally sailed away.  They watched it go, thrilled at the beauty of it, but even though they chased it, they never did find it.

Three days ago (Thursday) was the feast day of the Ascension.  Our first lesson has the disciples watching Jesus rise up into the heavens.  Imagine how they felt on that day as they watched him go.  It was probably one of the most magnificent sights they had ever seen, but at the same time it both confused them and scared them.  During that 10 days between the ascension and pentecost, they were living in the in-between times:  in between the ascension of Jesus and the coming down of the Holy Spirit, in between heaven and earth, in between the present and the coming kingdom, in between the local (what was happening then and there) and the global (the commission to go out and preach the word.)

After all this time they had been with Jesus, they heard him preach, they saw the miracles, they witnessed his death

 and his resurrection, and he made all these appearances to them and now they are on the hillside.  And the first 

question the disciples ask him is, “Lord, is now the time you will restore the kingdom to Israel?”  They are still 

expecting a military victory – an overthrowing of the current Roman government.  They still didn't get it. 

He tells them, “You don’t need to know the times,” because the kingdom that Jesus talked about had nothing to do with the political structures of our earthly governments.  The kingdom that Jesus talked about had to do with our interior state of being – our attitudes toward one another – and our love and caring, not only for  God, but for one another.

Jesus tells them here that they “will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon them and that they will be witnesses to Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  This could be an overwhelming job – so they went back to the upper room where they were staying.  And for 10 days, they devoted themselves to praying together.  And I’m sure – trying to figure out what it was that Jesus had been trying to tell them.

They didn’t have a clue what it meant to have the Holy Spirit – the nearest concept they could entertain was probably the stories of the prophets of old who were filled with the Spirit of God.  But it hadn’t happened yet, and they couldn’t quite imagine themselves as the prophets of old.  They were living in-between.  They were planted firmly on the ground, living in the present time, day by day, in Jerusalem waiting for what would happen next.

In our second lesson, Peter tells us to humble ourselves before God – to cast all our cares upon him – and to discipline ourselves, keeping alert at all times.  And he tells us that Christ will restore, support and strengthen us.  Peter learned this during that in-between time in Jerusalem and with the coming of the Holy Spirit.  I’m sure it was hard not to become discouraged – waiting.  

I don't wait well - I find it hard to just sit and do nothing.  Different people wait in different ways, and some people wait in different way at different times in their lives.  

My idea of waiting is to stay busy, find something to do.  At one time in my life that meant coming down here to this church and spend hours praying and reading scripture.  At another time it meant spending hours singing and playing spiritual songs.   Especially Change my heart, O God...    ----    At another time, it meant spending hours in the hospital visiting and working with people there.  At another time it meant sitting still praying with beads or contemplating scripture or centering prayer.  

We live in the in-between – we are in the world – right here in this time and place - and while we are here, we are to be present to those around us and live in the moment for Christ. Grace Church is in an in-between time, between Father David and whoever will be called as your new rector.  

This is your time to strengthen your ministry - to build up your church - to come together to find what God is calling you to be and do - both individually and as a church.  God doesn't want you to just sit on your hands doing nothing -

he wants you to be active, remembering that the person preaching to you isn't the be-all and end-all.  

The future of this church does not depend me or whoever comes next.  The future of this church depends on you!  

Our gospel lesson is Jesus’ prayer for us.  He doesn’t pray for world harmony – he prays for the disciples – for us – for unity – that we are able to work together to live and bring about his kingdom on this earth.  

How can you make this place a little better for someone else?  How can you reach out to someone in need or pain?  Some of you do this on a daily basis – praying for each other or helping each other out working and planning for ministry.

In his prayer, Jesus begins, “The hour has come…”  Now is the time – to pray for others - to reach out to help others – to live into God’s purpose in your life.  Not later, but now.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the things that I have to do – the sheer volume – that I become less than productive, less than effective.  

Learning to live in the moment, what is happening this very minute – and not worry about what I have to do in the next hour, or tomorrow, or the next day – is one way I can begin to live into what Jesus wants me to be.  And I invite you to contemplate what it is that Jesus is calling you to be and do.

Let us pray,

Most precious Father, send your Holy Spirit onto us, into us, 

that we may live into your plan for our lives and for our church.  

Help us to live in the tension of this world, 

keeping the promise of your kingdom 

always on the horizon of our consciousness.  

Help us to see those around us here in this world, 

And to see your heavenly purpose in their lives also.

This we ask in the name of your son, Jesus, 

as we await the coming power of His Holy Spirit.  Amen.

My Lord and My God

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May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, our strength and our Redeemer.  Amen.

Our gospel lesson today picks up where last week’s gospel left off.  It is the day of Jesus’ resurrection.  And according to John, the disciples were locked away in the house for fear of the Jews.  For John it's very important that the doors be locked - it makes a statement - not even locked doors can keep Jesus out.  Jesus comes and stands among them.  He speaks to them - "Peace be with you." And he shows them his hands.  And they believe.                      

Except for Thomas - where was Thomas that evening?  We don’t have a clue where he was, but this meant that Thomas had to hear about this second hand.  Rumors…   Gossip…   Idle chatter…   Pipe dreams…   Speculation…  who could believe such a thing?

I worked with Father Jim Morgan in Huntsville for 6 years and he was always repeating something that someone had told him. One day something he said struck me as somewhat outlandish - and I turned to him and asked…"Do you believe everything you hear?"  He stopped and pulled back and looked at me.  Then he said, "I guess I do."  A regular "mister gullible" there…  And on the other extreme is my husband, Sam - "mister skepticism himself!"  Questions everything you tell him.  He and Thomas are like two peas in a pod.  

The word "faith" is not used in this passage - but it certainly is implied.  Faith is defined as a firm belief in something for which there is no proof.  And I guess it depends on what you call proof when it comes to believing in God and in Jesus.  Thomas wanted proof - the same kind of assurance that the other disciples had already received.  He’s not asking for anything different.

By not being there that first night, Thomas missed out on so much - .  He missed out on affirmation - seeing Jesus – now that’s not like missing out on seeing friend Joe when he stops by the office…  “Oh yeah, you just missed Joe…,”  “Oh that’s alright – I’ll see him tomorrow.”  No, Jesus had died, his stopping by the office was a big deal – he wasn’t supposed to even be alive!  And at that point, no one knew if he would ever show up again.  

The second thing Thomas missed was peace, Jesus offered the disciples peace – peace of mind, peace in their heart, peace in their very soul.   Peace may very well be the first ingredient in experiencing God.  When you are anxious or afraid, or active, you are not in a receptive frame of mind.  Jesus can be standing right there beside you and you might never know it.  When that peace comes over you, you know that Jesus is near!

The third thing Thomas missed was the sending out – the authority to go out in the name of Jesus and to tell the world the story of Jesus.  How he came and lived among the people – how he walked the dusty roads – how he touched the people to heal them and to drive out demons – how he died, and how he rose again.  But Thomas missed it – how could he tell the story of resurrection when he had not witnessed it?  Where was his authority?

And the fourth thing, Thomas missed out on the receiving of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, receive the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is the presence of Jesus in our day to day lives.  The Holy Spirit is that voice that might tell us, where to go… what to do…  and it provides those moments of inspiration, of insight – those times when you hear something come out of your mouth and you know its true (or at least feel sure it’s true) and you don’t have a clue where it came from, because it had never been a conscious thought in your mind.

People have a tendency to berate Thomas for his questioning - his doubts.  But there are valid reasons for examining our faith.    Tell me, what kind of a faith do we have if we simply believe everything we are told?  I fear that is when we end up with tragedies like the 1978 Jonestown mass suicide when more than 900 members of the People's Temple drank poison because their leader The Rev. Jim Jones told them to do so.  

Or closer to home is the Waco standoff between the Branch Davidians and the FBI where David Koresh and 74 of his followers were engulfed in flames.  Koresh apparently believed that he was the returning Jesus - the Second Coming.  Reading our lesson from Revelation reminds me of my friend Leah's commenting, "My Jesus will return in a cloud of glory, not a blaze of gunfire."  I think that Jim Jones and David Koresh's followers were examples of what happens to people who go on blind faith - who don't wrestle with what they believe.

Faith that has wrestled with the harder questions has a much better chance of standing the test of time and assaults.  I really like Robin Williams "Top Ten reasons for being an Episcopalian," especially the one that says, "You don't have to check your mind at the door."  We invite discussion, we invite questions, we even invite differences.

God knows it's hard to come to faith - remember the man that came to Jesus and exclaimed, "Lord, I do believe - help my unbelief."   I invite you to grapple with your faith - to come to a firmer understanding of what it means to be a Christian.  I invite you to examine your faith.  Paul tells us in Philippians to "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling."  And he continues with, "For it is God who works in you, to will and to act according to his purposes."  

It's okay to ask for proof - just as Thomas did.  But when you receive that proof - just as Thomas did - then accept it and embrace it with everything you have - just as Thomas did.  "My Lord and my God."  It is God's faithfulness to give us what we need - for us to come to faith in him.  Faith itself is a free gift from God.  

Jesus will always meet us where we are, and he invites us to live into what we do believe, and when we are ready, He will come and expand our experience of him and he will make himself known in our life, in our church and in the world around us.